IT’S not exactly the World Cup – more the Weatherfield Cup – but rivalry threatens to turn a five-a-side pub league match into a bloodbath on and off the pitch in Coronation Street (ITV1).

On the touchline are rival landladies Steely Stella, from the Rovers Return, and Competitive Carole, from the Weatherfield Arms. Both have pub teams in the competition. Both want to win.

Lloyd came over all Roy Hodgson when ordered to find the best team he could. With Deirdre and Emily out of action, he’s forced to put Steve McDonald in the team. Alas, too many of Betty’s hotpots have played havoc with his fitness and he’s unable to put his best foot forward on the pitch.

The result is a crushing defeat for the Rovers team when the final whistle is blown.

Steve’s even more put out when Rob ribs him about the loss.

Steve sees a chance for revenge when he begins to suspect Rob of playing away with Michelle. Poor deluded Steve thinks the couple have hightailed it for a night of passion in Sheffield, a well-known destination for nooky-seeking couples.

Worried about Rob scoring in the penalty box, Steve goes off to Sheffield to demand a penalty kick at the very least.

But there’s a surprise waiting for him in the bedroom.

Round at the Rovers, fists are flying as Maria’s romantic dallying with her gay best friend Marcus becomes public knowledge.

Everyone is surprised (not least Marcus, who usually catches the other bus) but none more so than Jason, who doesn’t take kindly to being dumped for a friend of Dorothy.

More fisticuffs in Emmerdale (ITV1) where it comes as no surprise that bad boy Cain is the one throwing the punches. Just as inevitable is that the chap on the receiving end is even badder boy (he’s a murderer for goodness sake) Cameron.

It was only a matter of time before Cain sought revenge on Cameron for cheating on his (Cain’s) daughter Debbie. Thwack!

Cameron slumps to the floor unconscious.

Cain drags him into the garage, ready to give him another thumping when he comes round, but strangely Cameron doesn’t beg for mercy. Must be his guilty conscience coming into play.

The surviving King brother, Jimmy, is expecting more bad news following the death of his brother, Carl, the tallest man in soap, and the revelation that he was a blackmailing scumbag.

Jimmy discovers that Carl’s will was made three years ago, at the very time he was set to marry Chas, the woman who thinks she killed him. How ironic if he’s left all his money to her. It’ll certainly upset Charity who’s scheming to take over the haulage business from Jimmy.

A bad week too for Dodgy Derek in EastEnders (BBC1) when his past love life comes up for inspection. Max engineers a reunion with his brother’s old flame, glamour girl Jackie, but all doesn’t go according to plan.

When they meet, it’s all too apparent that Jackie never thought much of Derek, although he was hopelessly devoted to her.

This rebounds on Max, who brought about the reunion. If he annoys Derek too much, he’ll likely give away Max’s guilty secret.

Let’s hope he does.