WITH the possible exception of Shoaib Akhtar, the three sportsmen who have taken the most stick in this space in recent years must be Craig Bellamy, Audley Harrison and Gavin Henson. And aren't they covering themselves in glory at the moment?

Shoaib came under fire last week, although it wasn't his fault that Pakistan saw fit to name him in their World Cup squad rather than sticking to their decision to ban him for two years. The world's fastest bowler has been slowly drowning in his own narcissism, and much the same could be said of Henson, with Harrison not far behind.

Bellamy is a slightly different kettle of piranha. No doubt he loves himself - someone has to - but there is also the sort of deeply unpleasant streak in his character which isn't usually found in people who like to swing golf clubs.

Presumably he uses them to hit little white balls as well as team-mates who don't wish to tune in with his pleas to join him on the karaoke machine.

The fact that Bellamy chose to celebrate his goal in Barcelona on Wednesday with a mock golf swing was tantamount to raising two fingers to public opinion and merely confirms what a misguided moron he is.

This is the man who Wales think is fit to captain their football team, but thankfully we are reminded that only real men are considered for their rugby XV. They have made six changes after the defeat by Scotland, but a query about Henson brought the brusque reply: "Not even considered."

As with Henson, so with dear old Audley. The talent is there, but having lapped up the hype which surrounded their initial success they have been found to lack the heart for sustained stardom. For Audley to say that knocking Michael Sprott down in the first round wasn't in the script and upset his plans is utter balderdash when any boxer worth his salt would see it as a chance to move in for a swift kill.

Having pilloried him over the years, I now feel slightly sorry for Audley because just when it seemed he might be starting to get it right he is now left with nowhere to go. The only fight I'd like to see him take would be against Bellamy, who would doubtless crumble like the spineless lout he is.

SO, after the brickbats who gets the gongs? Top of the list this week has to be Andy Murray, closely followed by his brother Jamie. Their San Jose triumphs made them the first brothers of any nationality to win at the same tournament since Emilio and Javier Sanchez in 1989.

The Murrays could now become the first siblings to combine in the Davis Cup for Britain since John and David Lloyd in the early 1980s. They will surely get their chance in April's home tie against Holland as 21-year-old Jamie's inclusion would make far more sense than the backward step of recalling Tim Henman, who has been persuaded by captain John Lloyd to make himself available again.

Andy Murray, still only 19 and destined for the world's top ten this year, says he has gone off rap and has been listening to a bit of Meatloaf. He could do a lot worse than develop a duet with his brother, singing Do You Know The Way to San Jose?

ARSENE Wenger can also have a pat on the back from me this week, especially in comparison with his arch foe Jose Mourinho, whose sniping at the Arsenal boss is getting way out of hand. Wenger was quite right to say it's not a level playing field after Chelsea's £80m losses proved again they are operating well outside the normal business practice of balancing the books.

THE England rugby team left for Dublin last night, two days before their match against Ireland, while the English Counties squad, which includes Darlington's Richard Snowball, left on Tuesday three days before tonight's meeting with an Ireland Clubs XV.

If there is little sense in this it is a reflection of the archaic club v country tussle which engulfed the England players last weekend, when half the national team were required for Premiership duty. The stipulated rest period after a match meant there was no point in travelling to Ireland any earlier and they are bound to be under-prepared compared with an Irish team who have been training together all week.

The player availability issue is partly what persuaded Clive Woodward to quit and he has reiterated his belief that it will never be resolved. I hope he's wrong because the game has become so much tougher under professionalism that it is ludicrous for players to be appearing for their clubs in the middle of the Six Nations.

Thankfully there were no casualties last weekend and I expect England to rise to the occasion at Croke Park. Unfortunately, with Brian O'Driscoll back to lead them Ireland will probably rise slightly higher, especially as they won't want to be accused of another Croke choke after surrendering at the death to France.